Saturday, 9 June 2012

Not-so-forced Bi

About a month ago, possibly as a result of the combination of frequent cum eating, and anal play, I began to entertain the idea of Mistress ordering me to take part in sexual acts with other men. It was quite a surprise to me to realise just how much the thought turned me on, given that I'd always considered myself absolutely straight, in no uncertain terms. Despite this, however, only a few days after the initial thoughts had arisen, I'd become pretty much consumed by fantasies involving forced bisexuality. I awoke early every morning with a throbbing hard-on and a mind full of images of myself eagerly sucking cock and licking balls, with Mistress looking on approvingly.

Given the value that we place on honesty in our relationship, I decided to reveal my new found interest to her, and gauge her opinion. Chatting openly, and at length, we eventually came to the conclusion (after referring to a number of blog posts, including a succinct, but insightful entry written by Mistress Liliana) that I wasn't actually bisexual, as all of my fantasies required coercion. It also seemed that whilst Mistress was happy to discuss my desires, she wasn't particularly interested in the idea herself. So, we left it at that, and carried on as before.

Only I couldn't stop obsessing about it. And before long realised that maybe we'd been a little too quick to judge. I began to long, not for the submissive act of giving myself up for service on the orders of another, but simply to be used in the way that only a male dominant can use a sub. I remembered conversations with girlfriends past who lived for the feeling of an ejaculating cock inside them, and yearned to share their experience. I found myself desperately needing to feel the strength of masculine punishment on my body, and to obey a male voice. I wanted to be ordered to call a man 'Master', and to beg to please him in any way I could.

Shocked by the strength of my new found desires, I again talked to Mistress, only to find that her attitude had suddenly changed. Whereas before she'd been less than enthusiastic, now that I didn't need her to push me into it, she was clearly excited by the idea. If a little concerned for my safety. What's more, she seemed most enthused about being present at, and watching my experiences. After a long discussion, it was decided that as a first, tentative step, we would seek out a willing male sub, who she would direct in topping me. That search has now begun.